But what really determines whether you’re a grower or a shower?We decided to ask penis pros -- or urologists, in layman's terms -- Dr. Alex Shteynshlyuger to give us the dirty on the science behind this phenomenon.Remember when you were a kid -- or last night at the bar, whatever -- and you scrunched down a straw wrapper, dropped water on it, and watched in amazement as it grew almost four times its original length? How did that tiny little thing just up and become huge in a matter of seconds? seriously, your ding-dongs are like a never-ending magic show.
I can tell cum jokes better than anybody, but fuck your little dinky dick humor!It’s genetics -- just like some people are taller and some people are shorter.There’s a genetic variation in humans like there is among all species and animals. Some guys’ flaccid length is very similar to their erect length. That’s the feeling that rises up in my throat whenever anyone asks me the totally non-condescending question of why I’m still single, which I’ve answered so many times in so many tones (“Just haven't met the right guy, I guess! There was the guy who kept taking calls from a number he’d labeled “Happy Happy Fun Time,” which turned out to be his drug dealer. I've met guys in bars, at parties, while snowboarding, through friends, and online via Ok Cupid, Match, Tinder, Hinge, Happn, Bumble, The League, How About We, Coffee Meets Bagel, and even Nerve.com, a site for “literary smut” that hosted online personals in that early-aughts dark age before smartphones.