I’m going to explain if you think like you are in an elastic band relationship which feels like an emotional roller coaster of closeness and then distance, then closeness and distance it may be helpful to look at this from a psychological / therapeutic angle, especially if you have challenged this and are then told you are “Too sensitive”, “Too needy” or you are “Over-reacting.” What may be happening here is a clash of “Attachment Styles”.
You may have an Anxious or Secure style and your partner may have an Avoidant one? Almost all the people in the World are split into 3 types of people who have different ways of relating to people who are important to them.
Every time you respond in fear; there’s a chance that you’re stripping value from your man and from the relationship. Why does it cause women stress when a man pulls away?
This is not something for you to fear.is just a gentle reminder; it is something for you to just understand. If a man has value to us, then we become afraid that his withdrawal from the relationship could (key word: could) mean:1: He might sleep with other women and all his resources will go to the other woman (which is not always true!
This will create a lot of conflict, as you will want intimacy, reassurance and closeness, but they will want to pull away and want independence..
Although at some level, they enjoy your dependence on them as it boosts their sense of power they get from feeling independent, which is when they pull you closer, but it does not last long..
Sociopaths pursue you, then push you away, then pursue you, then push you away.
With each manipulative cycle, the bond that you feel for the person gets stronger and stronger. Making you feel sad for them This is Red Flag #9 “The pity play.” Sociopaths will tell you sob stories about their abusive childhood, crazy ex, overbearing boss, chronic illnesses anything to get you to feel sorry for them. Martha Stout wrote: “The most reliable sign, the most universal behavior of unscrupulous people is not directed, as one might imagine, at our fearfulness.
A brief description of each attachment style is below and these apply not to one moment in time, but generally in relationships: Anxiously Attached Giving space to those who are avoidantly attached and need space can be difficult for those who are anxiously attached.
If our ‘attachment system’ is activated it can almost be impossible.
In relationship therapy we explain the ‘Dependency Paradox” this is where we trust our partner and our ability to step out bravely into the world on our own, mostly comes from the knowledge that there is someone close by that we can count on..
I just had this question ”¦ Do these men act like they do not want you around and push you away and make you feel so sad for them ”¦ making you feel like you failed them somehow ”¦ never do enough ”¦ and then suddenly you find yourself begging them to show you how much better you can do for them ”¦?
I am sure the answer is yes ”¦ but I guess I just need confirmation”¦ , I list warning signs such as “love-bombing,” which is showering the target with attention and affection, and “moving fast to hook up.” Sociopaths often pursue you relentlessly, sometimes snagging you through sheer persistence.